The ongoing difficult economic climate has prompted me to re-read two books with apposite titles by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, “The Places that Scare You” and “When Things Fall Apart”.

As a teacher of NLP (neurolinguistic programming) I am used to explaining to people how they can make themselves “feel better”.  NLP has a vast range of techniques for shifting from an unresourceful (unhappy, negative or anxious) emotional state to a more resourceful one (to feeling happier, more upbeat and energised).  While many of these can achieve effective and permanent changes, it is obviously dangerous to encourage the delusion of wellbeing simply by swapping around emotional states if external circumstances do not justify it – a bit like rearranging the deckchairs on the titanic.

Chodron recommends a different approach.  She encourages us to detach from our emotional states altogether and not to pass judgement on them in any way, avoiding labelling them as good or bad, positive or negative.  Often it is our self judgement that causes us more discomfort than our state of mind itself.

She invites us to go even further, persuading us to face the fears that we have directly rather than using all sorts of activities to avoid them as we usually do.  She tells the story of a Buddhist master who is out walking one day with his students, when they are approached by a very ferocious-looking dog.  His students run away from the dog in all directions but to their surprise their master runs towards the dog directly.  The dog gets such a fright it turns tail.

While this teaching is certainly hard and would appear to require regular practice, it seems to be the only way we can truly manage our anxieties.  By facing up to them and being honest about what we feel,  even if it is sheer terror, their hold on us loosens up.  As we become freer, this alters how we experience things and we find our external world changes as a result.

Image:  cc llamnudds

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