You have probably heard that a most powerful way of establishing rapport with someone is to match their body language, and I shall write about this in a subsequent post.  However, matching body language where it is not already occurring can be uncomfortable, embarassing and downright intrusive.  Fortunately, there are a great many different ways of establishing rapport which are just as effective. 

I’ve made some suggestions in the following diagrams.  These are based on a classification system developed by Robert Dilts called “Neuro-logical Levels”.   (While this model does not actually demonstrate how our brains function, it remains a useful one to describe the different levels of human experience.)

NB:- If you click on the image, it will enlarge!

For communications to be effective, it is best to establish how one’s audience wishes to receive the message.  Some people prefer to talk face to face, others find the telephone or internet more efficient.  Be careful to use their preference rather than your own.

Increasingly today, we are meeting and working with people we do not meet in person.  Here are some additional ways of establishing rapport over a distance.

NB:- If you click on the image, it will enlarge!

Exercise:

 Open the attached document and review the exchange of emails.    100705 Rapport Email Exchange

1.  Which email do you believe is in most rapport with the boss, Peter Smith?  Give your reasons.

2.  If John Brown were to take over as boss of the department (Yes, I know, it’s unlikely!… ), how would Evy need to adapt her communications style with him?

People like people who are like them.

To be liked – become more like them!

This is the principle which applies to rapport.  There are several useful ways of describing what rapport is:

1.  Translation from French

Rapport is a French word which has been adopted into the English language. 

When used in French, in the plural it means = relationships. 

In the singular it means = a connection or a link.

2.  My definition

I like to think of rapport as the willingness to build a bridge towards someone else.  It has the strange effect of leading us into their world, where we can catch a glimpse of how they see and understand things from the Map which they use.

3.  Milton Erickson

Robert Dilts, who has expanded the field of NLP significantly, has written that the notion of rapport in NLP was derived from the work of the great hypnotherapist Milton Erickson.  When Erickson worked with his clients, Erickson himself exhibited characteristics of trance.  Based on this, according to Dilts,  “Erickson suggested that the state of rapport is 

a loop of mutual influence and interaction in which each element is is influencing and being influenced by other elements.

Source:  NLP University

As the table below show, there are many different degrees of rapport.  We can decide what degree of rapport is appropriate in any given situation.

NB:- If you click on the image, it will enlarge!

“Make sure you keep it crisp and to the point”, a colleague advised me recently, before I went to interview the MD of a highly successful local business.  (She knew that when I am enthusiastic I can get a bit longwinded.)

The trouble is, we are all so comfortable with our individual style, that we often forget that an important aspect of successful communications is adapting our manner to the way in which our audience prefers to receive a message.

I hesitate to begin these posts about Rapport because it is a subject most people think they know enough about already.  Nevertheless, it is my experience that it is both one of the most neglected, and powerful, skills in business.  Of course, it may be my personality type that makes me think this.  People and their feelings are important to me, whereas many “movers and shakers” often appear to have less concern for the impact they have upon others.

I believe that the ability to establish and maintain rapport with all sorts of different people is essential for achievement.  A few years ago, I met someone who had enjoyed a very successful career in sales.  We became great friends immediately, and this puzzled me because there were significant differences in our age and background.  It was only when I saw him strike up the same kind of enthusiastic relationship with a friend of mine that I understood.  My friend was a keen connoisseur of wine and he found this out soon after being introduced.  He then proceeded to engage her in a discussion about the most effective ways of bringing wine to room temperature quickly.  Uncovering the personal interests of people he met, to win them over, had become second nature to him.

Rapport has nothing to do with being “nice”.  While it is a phenomenon which occurs automatically and unconsciously among people who like each other, it is a tool we can use deliberately to foster relationships where it might not occur naturally.  It can also be used for a specific purpose – to lead other people where we want to take them.

Is this ethical?  As I’ve written in a previous post, it depends upon our intentions.  One of the assumptions we make in NLP is “We cannot not influence”.  As we are exercising an influence upon others all the time, we may as well use this influence thoughtfully.  It is important to understand where and how rapport is working for us in our relationships.

My colleague needn’t have worried about a potential mismatch in style between me and the local MD.  He was charm itself, coming down to meet me at reception and taking time out of his busy schedule to accompany me around the plant in person.  Like the other powerful people I shall be referring to in my posts which follow on this subject, he understood the importance of rapport very well.

Image: Copyright Mind for Business Ltd, all rights reserved

Values are acknowledged so seldom at work (or even in our private lives) that it is sometimes difficult to appreciate just how important they are in driving our behaviour. 

Here is an example of somebody who has acquired a position of immense power and who recognises the importance of identifying and working with values as a motivating force.

In “The Audacity of Hope” (an exploration of how Americans might begin the process of changing their politics and civic life), Barack Obama addresses the phenomenon of values right at the beginning, in the second chapter.

He recognises how difficult it is for politicians to talk about values without appearing calculated or phoney, because a lot of questionable behaviour has had the effect of making politics “value-free”.  (For me, the irony is that values are the reason most politicians embark upon their career, motivating them to change something about society). 

Obama has a very engaging writing style which incorporates many interesting stories from his time as a US Senator and while running for that office.  What is particularly fascinating in this chapter is how he relates the subject of values to his encounters with his predecessor as US President, George W Bush. 

Obama’s appraisal of values concurs completely with NLP.  I have no idea whether Obama has studied NLP or whether this is simply another case of NLP reflecting what is discovered through experience.  Here are some of the things he says: 

Values are an important component of our Map of the world, a force which both drives us and bonds us to other people

 “… It is the language of values that people use to map their world.  It is what can inspire them to take action, and move beyond their isolation”. 

Our values form an important part of our identity

Obama reviews the values upheld in the American constitution (the unalienable Rights of Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness) and examines the values which Americans hold in common (particularly freedom and individualism counter-balanced by patriotism and citizenship, duty and sacrifice).  He says 

“… What else is there to guide us?  Those values are our inheritance, what makes us who we are as a people…”. 

Our true values lie where we spend our time and money 

“When I was a community organizer back in the eighties, I would often challenge neighbourhood leaders by asking them where they put their time, energy, and money.  Those are the true tests of what we value, I’d tell them, regardless of what we like to tell ourselves.  If we aren’t willing to pay a price for our values, if we aren’t willing to make some sacrifices in order to realize them, then we should ask ourselves whether we truly believe in them at all”.

We all share many common values 

Obama recounts how he toured Illinois and met people from many different walks of life, listening to their concerns.  He concludes that due to the convergence of so many different cultures within American society, 

“Not so far beneath the surface, I think, we are becoming more, not less alike”. 

Establishing shared values is an effective route in negotiations 

Obama acknowledges that warring political parties will usually exaggerate the differences in the values they hold rather than engage in balanced debate, which is his (by now, well-recognised) preference.  He tells the story of how he achieved unanimous consensus to pass an initially controversial bill concerning requirements for police interviews of suspects in capital offences, through establishing the shared values of all parties concerned.   

It’s necessary to respect other people’s Maps and values – and George W Bush 

Obama explains that it is tempting to think that because you disagree with someone, they must have different values, and perhaps are bad people.  However, in observing George W Bush, he couldn’t help but assume that Bush and the members of his Administration were trying to do what they thought was best for the country.  

He believes that, in general, the USA suffers from an empathy deficit which hinders people from finding the consensus needed to move forward.  He points out how necessary it is to understand that someone else sees things differently and to show respect for the values they hold: 

“I am obligated to try to see the world through George Bush’s eyes, no matter how much I may disagree with him”.

 and 

“No one is exempt from the call to find common ground”. 

These are strong messages indeed, and not only for the American people.  If one of the most powerful men in the world understands how important values are, then maybe we should all pay more attention to them in our work.

Image:  Flickr CC SEIU International

Do you ever have to appeal to a lot of different people simultaneously? Perhaps you need to get your team motivated to rise to a tough challenge.  Perhaps you want to rally your friends to support a charitable cause.  Perhaps you have to design some marketing to appeal to as wide an audience as possible. 

As I’ve written about in a previous post, different values are important to each of us.  

We find it easier to affiliate with some people than others, depending upon the values we share.  For example, and to make some sweeping generalisations – it could be expected that harmony is a value shared by human resources professionals, while accountants may prize order as a higher value. 

 A clever communicator will identify the common values a group holds before addressing them.  The media are adept at appealing to the values of the particular audience they are targeting.

Beyond this, we can all buy into a common set of values which arise from our most basic needs as human beings, such as security, fulfilment and freedom (to name just a few).   It is to these “umbrella” values we can appeal, if we want to sway a large number of people.

Politicians and the organisations we work for may incorporate common values into “motherhood and apple pie” statements, which no-one is likely to argue against, at least in public.  They elicit our tacit approval.  It is in this way that leaders make the case for going to war – to safeguard national security – and that the current UK government will justify a range of hard-hitting “austerity measures” – to ensure our economic stability.  Similarly, most companies espouse the values of high levels of customer service and employee engagement.

 While public values can be enlisted to engage many people at a time, this motivation can turn to cynicism if there is insufficient evidence that the values are supported by behaviours, – i.e. if money and time are not spent on them.  (The best definition of values that I have come across is that they are what you spend your time and money on).

It is worth noting that collectively held values change with the times.  Environmental sustainability is a relatively recent value which continues to gain ground in the light of scientific evidence of the climatic changes which are occurring on our planet.  The debate which opened up about immigration during the recent general election may indicate that the value of diversity is now coming under threat in the UK.

So, what do we make of the fact that some values are still more important to some individuals than others?  It is as if our values can be arranged in a hierarchy, and we give a different priority to different values at particular times and in particular contexts.  Sometimes we are willing to sacrifice one value in the short term for another, for example, we may sacrifice some freedom for present happiness, or risk our security for the sake of adventure. 

Exercise: 

When you next listen to a politician speak, see if you can spot the values she or he is appealing to.  If you want to try this out immediately, you might like to review these speeches made by President Barack Obama and Martin Luther King, to see how effectively they incorporate values to make their case compelling.

Image:  Copyright Mind for Business Ltd, all rights reserved

While I have become comfortable with working with trance, I still find it challenging to teach the Milton Model to NLP students.  The Milton Model is a set of language patterns, modelled from the great hypnotherapist Milton Erickson, which is used to induce and deepen trance.  There are just so many of these patterns, labelled quite incomprehensibly, that it is easy for the conscious mind to get caught up in the mechanics of remembering when and how to use them.  Until you are very practiced, this tends to get in the way of inducing a nice trance state!

So, when I saw that Stephen Gilligan was running a four-day workshop at the NLP Academy on “Generative Trance” I jumped at the chance, suspecting this was a way of achieving more fluidity in my trance work.  I had heard a couple of my teachers recommend his work very highly.

I’m so glad I did.  Not only do I now feel more confident about working with trance, but last week’s seminar counts as one of the high points in my continuing personal development.

Steve was a student of Erickson, and studied with him for over five years.  He happens to be a contemporary of Robert Dilts and others in the group which developed NLP (neurolinguistic programming – a personal development methodology very popular in business and other fields) at Santa Cruz University in the 1970s, although he is not usually associated with the NLP community.

I certainly cannot attempt to do justice to Steve’s work after only a limited introduction, and my words fall far short of what he expresses eloquently in his own writing.  So, I suggest if you are interested further, you check out his website and blog at http://www.stephengilligan.com

The seminar covered many things which I don’t have time to touch on here, including the beautiful work of self relations.  This addresses the importance of accepting all parts of ourselves – we are working against ourselves if we cannot do this.  Here are the most salient points I learned about trance.

1.  I’ve attached too much importance to the cognitive mind

This seems so obvious when I come to think about it, but is a strikingly different perspective from the one I have typically operated from until now  –

The first intelligence we are born with resides within our body.  We share this same primitive, unconscious, somatic intelligence with other animals.  Our mental intelligence takes many years to develop as we mature into adulthood.

The human mind is a very recent evolutionary development.  It gives us self awareness and the ability to set an intention and harness our energies towards it. 

It is only in accessing our cognitive and somatic minds together that we can enjoy the full capacity of our human nervous system – the most advanced instrument the world has ever seen!

2.  Show respect

Unlike other models of hypnosis, Steve’s model of Generative Trance works with the intelligence of both the conscious and unconscious minds.  It’s not a question of either tricking the conscious mind, in order to bypass it, or of giving directions to the unconscious mind, as if it were stupid. 

3.  Connect with wider intelligence

 We become stuck when we cannot think of a solution to a problem, i.e. when we have exhausted the ability of our conscious mind to analyse it and to reason it out.

Fortunately, a wider intelligence is available to us, which we witness when we observe the intrinsic intelligence of the universe around us.

The purpose of Generative Trance is to connect with both our somatic selves and wider intelligence beyond our own.  In this way, solutions can be generated which our conscious mind cannot come up with.  This involves tapping into both the intelligence of our wider community (what Jung called the “collective unconscious”) and the infinite possibilities of the quantum field beyond.

We sometimes do this spontaneously in moments of everyday trance.  For example, we may be standing under a shower when an idea suddenly pops into our (conscious) mind which helps us with a problem we have been preoccupied with.  Generative trance enables us to access this state more easily when we need to.

4.  Not all trances are equal

Trance is a natural state we dip into regularly to escape the pressures of our conscious life, even if it’s just to “take a breather”, and to connect with resources within ourselves which we need.  It happens when we become completely absorbed in an activity – this could be listening to music, reading, taking a walk in nature, exercising, watching TV, going shopping or hitting the dance floor.  However, some of these trances are more restorative than others.

Generative Trance uses trance productively – we hold a specific intention while accessing the greater field of intelligence and inviting in needed resources and solutions.  Its purpose is to draw from this state learnings, and perhaps healing, which make a difference to our conscious life.

5.  Generative Trance can be a way of life

Having learned all this, I would love to be able to dwell all the time in that generative state where I am in touch with intelligence that is greater than the limited capacity of my conscious mind.  It would be so useful!  However, I recognise that this will require the following practices to become routine:

• Centring, breathing and relaxing more deeply as a way of “losing” my conscious mind, and of escaping from the limitations of my thoughts and the tension they create in my body;
• Tuning into my somatic mind more regularly to read what my body is telling me;
•  Observing the different trance states I tend to move in and out of automatically, and endeavouring to use them productively;
•  Dropping through trance into that place of deeper wisdom more regularly, so that over time I can access it increasingly easily.

Do you ever stop to think why you get out of bed on dark, cold and wet winter mornings to slog your way through a grinding commute to work?  About what keeps you going under the pressures of a demanding career?  Have you reflected on why you get up in the middle of the night to feed a crying baby?  Or what pushes you through the “pain barrier” as you train for a run?  What is it that keeps you working at the computer into the small hours as you agonize over a piece you have written?  What drives you to make other gargantuan efforts in order to achieve your goals?

It is our Values which lie behind everything we do.  They are the fuel which gives us the energy to reach our objectives.

The best dictionary definition of values I have been able to find is, “the beliefs of a person or a group in which they have an emotional investment” (Princeton University).  In NLP, we recognise values as positive, abstract concepts, expressed as nominalisations - that is nouns which have been formed from verbs.  Examples are happiness (from being happy), peace (from being peaceful), freedom (from being free), etc.

Values are such powerful drivers, it is not surprising that they become a source of conflict when we clash with others who do not share them.  They are the reason we simply don’t “gel” with other people, or worse.  It is essential we understand the values of those we are dealing with, if we are to get on with them.  Uncovering the underlying values of our partner is an essential ingredient of successful negotiations.

In previous posts, I’ve suggested that it is important to find out about the Map of the world another person is using, in order to establish rapport and a good relationship.  One of the most important things, and fortunately the easiest, we can find out about someone else’s map, is the values they hold.  Funnily enough, when the other person has power over us (maybe they are our boss or someone we want to impress), we are adept at finding out and responding to their values very quickly.  However, we may not be aware of how we do this.  And, interestingly, given they are such powerful emotional drivers, we are often not aware of what our own true values are.

Here are some ways of finding out.

Exercise

Write down your answers to the following questions:

1.  Part One

• What are the principles you believe guide your life?
• What is most important to you?

2.  Part Two

Take a step back from what you have just written and answer these questions as truthfully as you can:

• What excites you and energises you?
• What leisure activities do you pursue?  What do they give you?  What is important about them?
• What do you spend the most time and money on?

Notice whether you experience any changes in your energy levels as you answer these questions.   A surge in energy confirms that your answers are “spot on”.

3. Part Three

Are there any discrepancies between the answers you supplied to Part One and Part Two?  You may be surprised if there are.  Frequently, our actual values are different from those we aspire to, and there is nothing wrong in that.  Perhaps we feel we “ought” to be demonstrating certain values such as “family life” or “achievement”, when our bodies tell us we are striving for something even more important to us.  Not understanding this can result in leading a life that is unfulfilling and causes us stress.

We can discover the values of other people through paying attention to what they love to talk about and observing where they spend their time and money.  Sometimes, we may be able to insert the questions we have used above into our conversation, with respect.

I remember talking to a Risk Manager at a leading Bank, whose job was to ensure colleagues in other departments complied with risk policy.  It was not an easy job and it didn’t make him popular.  Despite its frustrations, it was clear to me he enjoyed his work, so I kept asking him, “What’s important about that?”  Through repeating this question several times, we established that his top value was ”security”.   (I suspect it is a value shared by others who are attracted to such a career).  Recognising this, and that other people’s values were different, allowed him to communicate better about his role and obligations.

We don’t need to agree with someone else’s values.  However, if we are seeking to influence them successfully, we ignore them at our peril.

Image:  Copyright Mind for Business Ltd, all rights reserved

Are you, like most of my peers, reluctant to join me on social media sites such as Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and LinkedIn?  I can understand your reticence.  We’re all simply too busy with the demands made upon us by our career and family lives to add yet another networking obligation to our schedule. 

There are other reasons perhaps for your reluctance.  A general perception of my generation seems to be that these sites are trivial, time-wasting and unsafe. 

My experience has been different.  Although I have only a modest following, from interacting on these sites in recent months I have won a new client, found a new business Associate, sourced several critical suppliers, and even raised a question directly to the Chancellor of the Exchequer.  For me, these media have become a valuable source of news, inspiration, learning and entertainment I can dip into at any time.

To respond to the most common objections I encounter:

“It’s trivial“

The reach of these media is anything but.  Facebook now has 400m active users, half of whom log in every day.  Twitter has 75m users and LinkedIn 65 million members.  In networking classes I used to teach Karinthy’s principle of “Six Degrees of Separation” – that everyone is only six steps away from anyone else on earth.  Social networking sites have now reduced this to several steps at most. 

President Obama used social networking as an important plank in his election strategy. All major corporations are now following suit to get their message across.

“I don’t have the time”

Once you are up and running, tapping into social networking sites doesn’t need to take much time at a go.  It is one of the more productive activities you can engage in during “dead” travelling time, on the commute or at airport lounges. Podcasts can be downloaded and listened to in the car.

“I’m worried about revealing personal data”

Just as you decide how much to share about yourself to people you meet in your work environment, it’s completely up to you how much information you choose to disclose on-line.

Here are some tips for making sure your investment in social networking pays good dividends: 

1.  Commit for a While

At first, it takes a little time to find out how each of these social networking channels operates and to learn what is “good form” for interacting with others.  Be prepared to “hang out”  until you understand what is going on and how to contribute.  Make short and regular visits every couple of days.

Find out how to attach files to your posts, how to shorten URLs, and how to upload photos.  Download mobile versions of Twitter and Facebook on your phone so that you can access them in free moments.  Use tools such as Tweetdeck so that you can easily manage hundreds of messages simultaneously.

2.  Be Personable rather than Business-Focused

I heard someone say recently that joining a social networking site is like showing up at a big party.  People tune out immediately if it is apparent you are only interested in promoting yourself and selling your wares.  Act as you would in the real world and be interested in developing relationships.

• Provide a picture of yourself and a little bio so people know who they are dealing with – establishing trust is even more important in the virtual world.
• Use your own voice, it shows through.  It’s amazing how you can get to know somebody’s character through the medium of 140 character tweets.
• Take an interest in other people, comment on their posts and blogs, and take part in discussions.  In that way, people are likely to reciprocate and take an interest in what you have to share.

3.  Promote Your Links

Make sure you can be found at the big party by including your email, website URL and Twitter ID in email signatures and document footers.  (A recent search I did for a local firm threw up the well-funded profile of a company in Florida – it took me quite some time to find the address I was looking for which was buried behind several Google pages).

4.  Focus on Quality not Quantity

It’s easy to become obsessed and frustrated with growing follower numbers.  However, like mailing lists, what counts is that you attract followers who share your interests and who are likely to fit your target market.  You can do this by keeping the content of your posts consistent and familiarising yourself with a number of helpful tools such as Twitter hashtags, and groups on Facebook and LinkedIn.

5.  Give It Away for Free

An interesting phenomenon of the internet these days is the spirit of generosity.  I secured most of the facilities for my new website for free, and was occasionally invited to make a donation.  I read a recommendation recently that the ratio of on-line deposits to on-line withdrawals should be in the region of 20:1. 

This ethos is changing the way in which marketing is conducted on the web.  The high volume of free information is reducing the take-up rates of services which charge fees.  However, giving away valued material establishes your credentials and makes your audience more disposed to do business with you for higher-ticket items and personally-delivered services.

6.  Be Secure

Be clear about how much information you want to share on the internet.  Take care about how you express your opinions and feelings, remembering you cannot always control how they may be passed on.  Find out how to manage your privacy options on Facebook and Google.  Invest in software which blocks cookies in addition to anti-virus protection. It is to be expected that the more time you spend on the internet, the greater your exposure will be to potential intruders.

7.  Enjoy It and Have Fun!

I’ve made new friends on social networking sites whom I trust even though I’ve never met them. I’ve seen albums of photos and video clips covering fascinating places I haven’t visited.  I’ve been introduced to music and films I would never have otherwise appreciated.  I’ve enjoyed countless entertaining and enlightening videos which have “gone viral”.  I’ve appreciated finding tutorials and examples of best practice for some of my personal interests.  And it’s been fun to make my own contribution, in small ways, to this on-line  community.

I hope this article helps you find your way, if you haven’t turned up to the big party yet.   See you there?

Twitter             @JenniferFitzger

Facebook        Mind for Business

LinkedIn           Jennifer Fitzgerald

Image:  Dreamstime Copyright Michaeldb

IMPROVE YOUR INFLUENCE WITH NLP (Part 21)

If we accept what NLPers propose, that the Map is not the Territory, i.e. the construct I have developed to navigate my way through life is not the whole truth, then the following NLP Presuppositions (assumptions) make sense.

Individuals have different Maps of the world.

No Map is more real or true than any other.  All Maps have some validity.

The only information we have about another person’s Map is what they choose to share.

Our responses and behaviours only have meaning in the context in which they were established.

Change comes from enriching a person’s Map of the world.

If we accept these statements, they can lead to

1.   Greater understanding of ourselves and others

Everyone sees things very differently. 

This is not simply a matter of choice but may also be a function of memory.  According to “The Rough Guide to the Brain” by Barry J Gibb, the concept of proactive inference means that what we know already

 ”directly affects what new information we can learn and therefore affects how we see the world.  Should a child be born into a household with myriad prejudices, for example, it’s likely the developing mind will ‘inherit’ some of these biased patterns of thinking as they age.  To accuse such people ‘of only remembering what they want to’ may be an oversimplification; the information stored inside their brain could be directly interfering with their ability to assimilate other points of view”.

2.  Non judgement

If we can come to terms with the understanding that my view of things is no better than another person’s, we have to suspend our judgement when we find that different perspectives conflict.  The more we can find out about what information is stored on another person’s Map, the better we can understand their point of view.

3.  Opportunity for further personal growth

When we are stuck, it is usually because we do not have enough information on our map.  A lot of NLP is concerned with enlarging our Map.

Richard Bandler and John Grinder started one of their first books on NLP, “The Structure of Magic” with a discussion about Maps and said,

“People end up in pain not because the world is not rich enough to allow them to satisfy their needs but because their representation of the world is impoverished … therapists connect the client with the world in some way which gives the client a richer set of choices”.

It may be that our Map is a little out of date, or that as we move into new territory, we need to find a new Map, just like we do when we travel to another country.  The more information contained in our Map, the greater our range of choices and flexibility.

Exercise

Think about a disagreement you have with someone.

1. Check out your reading of the situation.  Ask what other explanations might be possible.
2. Is there any extra information you can find which would throw new light on it?
3. Can you create an opportunity to share your different perspectives with each other?  Can you find out how the other person reached their particular conclusions? 
4. If this isn’t possible, consider how different the other person’s background, life experiences, memories, and beliefs are from your own, and how these may be influencing their perspective.

So how does the concept of Maps affect our influencing skills?  If we assume responsibility for the Map of the world we have created, we can learn how it colours our communications with others and produces preconceptions which shape our experiences and relationships.  Understanding that our audience is bound to use a different Map from ours prevents from making presumptions and makes us aware that they may not be able to receive us on the same “wavelength”.  The more we find out about our audience’s Map, the better equipped we are to package our message and deliver it in a way that it will be well received.

Image:  Dreamstime Solidyellowline

IMPROVE YOUR INFLUENCE WITH NLP (Part 20)

This post is one in a series showing how you can achieve your goals by improving your influencing skills with NLP.

Here’s a short video in which I explain the reasons why individuals can react so differently to the same event.   I take you through the NLP Communications Model.  Understanding this model is key to working successfully with NLP.  Running time: 4 minutes.